bullet porn

hi!
we have like, a formal announcement to make on monday. fun stuffs. but, meanwhile, this:

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omg leeds we love you and just cant stay away.

also, got sent a link to this today with a message "Hi Just to say, I've been making tees unknowingly with the same phrase as your band!? Hope they do you service.

Cheers
elliot"

sdlsgojjrgrioavnj wat do plz, o noble fanbase? is he for real does anyone know? i mean, i don't really think there's a market for people wanting johnny foreigner as a tshirt slogan. weird. pretty sure we hold no copyright over the phrase, but were kinda worried people'll think our shirts have gone really boring. maybe we should just start making coldplay shirts.
anways, just to be sure, there nothing to with us and if you give him money thinking yr somehow repping us then everybody loses and we all die horribly. at my tshirt selling job, we have a team of ex hells angels who go around intimidating bootleggers and taking their stock. srs, at one point i had about 10 different cheap dayglo sugababes shirts.

that bipolar friends clock on ebay, now that was a nice creative way to rip us off. i wish i'd bought it.

HOPE EVERYONE IS WELL. xxxxxxxxxxxx

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

sarah graley > you





COMING SOON!

all i really wanted was a (term for someone i could lean on)

ohai guise.
what you doing?

our new ep is 50% finished. well, more than that, but half the songs are like, ready to be heard by people who arent us and stuff. we're undecided if the lead off single should be a standard yay happyclap pop song (for The Radio to pick up on and make us famous) or a depressing slow song (cos The Radio pretty much ignores us whateverr, and we're all growd up and mature now)

we've also designed a new tshirt which could possibly destroy topshop. or get us sued, we're not quite sure.

and and, we've updated the merch store with some stuffs we found down the back of a broken dream. i mean sofa.
theres some old sofacore shirts, a tote bag, the eyes wide 7" and the every cloakroom 10". its all super limited, we're clearing out for NEW STUFF thats getting made in a month or so.

also, check this fucking awesome band out - fist city
i wrote them this morning all arghhhhh i love yo band, i read about you in the nme and that NEVER HAPPENS, and they wrote back straight away saying, thanks, whats the nme?
which made me crush even more.

also, in trying to find a song called american high school rock (i think) by san lorenzo, i had a total gringo day and realised that the songs on hirameka hifis myspazz are super good live recordings. also, goodbye to victories by eska is probably the greatest song ever.

k byyyyyy

cake face

hi guise

last night was fucking awesome.

thanks be to:
gareth and neil and the chaos horns for playing with us
the awesome and patient garage stage crew (worst soundcheck ever)
wichita for letting us crash their party

seriously, wichita = awesome. the first wichita release i brought was a bright eyes / her space holiday spilt single, and i can't believe that was 10 years ago. it was a total privilege to be asked to be involved and i'm sure the next ten years will be just as rad. i worked out, on average i buy almost 5 of their records a year, i can't think of any other label thats been that consistent or warrents such loyalty.

and they're cool with us using their franking machine too. legends.

anyways, it was a super rad show, cheers everyone for coming early to see us!

all the preordered copies of our super10" record have been posted out now, so, if you still havnt got yrs, give it a week to allow for postal incompetence and then bug us about it. we'll probly put the rest on th merch store at some point this week..

luna park

hello! i just heard of this band and i think you might like them too see?



this is philadelphia grand jury, they're from australia and, LONDONS, you can see them supporting us at 93fteast on the 26th of THIS MONTH. they're on an epic uk tour, go see them in other places too. we really need to stop booking gigs the day after one of us returns to the country, but never mind.

also, i went for a quick drink today with one of my total teenage musical idols, to talk about producing ALBUMNUMBER3. well, i guess its 4, technically speaking but anyway: EXCITING. can you guess who? heres a clue, its not anet mook. anyway, i dont think he remembers drunk me meeting him in the jug of ale 8 years ago, but he was just as cool as i remember. he gave me a beer and i kept it in my fridge for 3 years till pete from calories drank it.

and lastly, and it spins my head slightly i can even write this, if there's anybody with a johnny foreigner tattoo that hasnt already added a picture to our faceboke then, plz do it. you insane but ego-bolstering crazies. we want to cut off yr skin and make a blanket for our grandchildren JOKES.

nah, actually, we want to kind of organise our photos a bit betterer. what we're totally missing is pictures of our t-shirts, so if anyone has photos of themselves wearing any of our merch and looking SUPERCOOL and stuff, plz send it to johnnyforeigner@hotmail.co.uk so we can show them off to people. i don't quite know who, but they'll be well impressed. plz mark yr mail "COMMENT MAH PIX PLZ" so we don't lose it amongst the offers of discounted italian designer clothing and airmiles reminders.

k thx loves

google chrome, i like you.
kbyebyetraaaaaaa

mutton dressed as lamb dressed as peacocks for the ball

i sometimes dj at a club night in a kinda posh kinda scummy lahhndaahhn town. last night this girl came up to the booth and says; "d'you know about indie rock then?"
i was like, "yeh, i guess i do" so she said, can you play that sex on fire song.

no, says i, i dont have it and its rubbish. she looks a bit peeved but goes away and carries on dancing, then comes back a few songs later; "do you have any scouting for girls?"

"jesus fucking christ no", i said.

"oh, well..", she says, turning to leave "you obviously dont know that much about indie rock then"

we just played the strangest show ever. exit calm and us and ou est le swimming pool and shy fx. i cant quite work out what we all have in common apart from, needing the fucking money. anyways, it was a graduation ball for an obscenely rich university. we played in a giant marquee on the grounds of the halls of residency. only, it wasnt halls, it was a converted castle, with a little stream and a tower and some beautiful brutalist 4 storey apartments, all on this fairy tale landscaped garden. there were salsa dancers and a string quartet and some babershop guys and stilt walkers and a jazz band and a 5 course dinner and a champagne bar and hanging laterns in the trees and uv underlights in the bushes, you get the idea. narnia.



i talked to some of the natives, mostly to avoid sitting in the world cup bar with 50 drunk and impossibly rich tuxedo'd boys screaming the name of our country at a giantsize plasma screen showing 22 other impossibly rich boys kicking a ball around the country i'm in love with. anyways, i tried to describe how mostly everyone i know who lives in halls has a scrotty bedroom and a shared kitchen in a block of dank grey flats and one of them snorted and pointed to the apartment block, to imply they were no better off. i swear to god, the only things that looked vaguely trampy were the way the bird seed for the peacocks had scattered on the lawns in front and the way a couple of rooms looked a little darker than the others. that cos when euan blair lived there, him and his bodyguard decided to pimp out their apartments with bullet proof glass.

we had a lighting guy for the day, our tour managers idea of a birthday treat for his housemate. he was dead good too, but his name is junior, which can be confusing in dark places. i tried to get everyone to call him two-nior, but it didnt catch on. thanks and happy birthday other junior!

really tho, a good time was had by all. about 30 of the 9000 people actually watched us play, which is probably the best student-ball kill ratio we've achieved. they all did this weird posh-kids-can't-dance shuffle and one of them, lets call him shinyfacedrentatux boy, walked on stage between songs to ask if we'd play "that one about moseley" but, honestly, we're probably the only real live indie band they've ever seen, and its not like yr born with a working knowledge of gig ettiquette.

also, this one girl said she'd seen us play with lc! a million years ago; and me and kel had lost our accents and it sucked we didnt play champagne girls. idk if the first is true and the second exploded my irony-meter in a manner illfitting for conversation with someone so academically superior.

this is francis, our tour manager and sound dude. he's from america. USA! YANK! HA WE KICKED A GOAL IN YOU IN THE 4TH MINUTE WERE GOING TO BEAT YOU EASY IINGERLANDDD IIIIINNNNGGGGEEEERRRRLLLLLAAAANNNNDDDDD FUCCKKKK YYYYEAHHHH O OO oh. ohnoes!

i'm pretty sure i had greater arcing point to this, social worlds colliding and that, but its 4am and i have songs to write. thank you graduating class of goldney university 2010, please remember us when yr running the country.