so, um americanada. hi there. as you may have seen leaked onto the interwebs, we have a few shows pencilled in for October. Truth be told, we have a decent run down the east coast and we're looking at practically at Canada and kinda more desperately optimistic at the west coast too. ITS LIKE ANOTHER COUNTRY COMPLETELY and finding shows that'll pay enough to justify flying over and paying for more backline hire is getting increasingly tricky. blerghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Anyway, (and this is where the rest of the world may start reading) all this dreaming is immaterial if we don't raise enough money to fly there in the first place, so here is todays super awesome news bomb.
presenting THE GREAT GET JOHNNY FOREIGNER TO AMERICANADA AUCTION 2012:
in which you guys get to buy awesome unique us - related artwork, and we then get to spend your money on plane tickets. this is definitely the best plan that ends with "we then spend your money on plane tickets" that you'll ever be involved in.
It's been kinda cool exorcising all this stuff to the internets. like old men who sell their war medals for cigarette money, only instead of cigarettes it's the holiday of their dreams, and they've already squeezed all the kudos and usefulness out of those medals anyway. and they also have perfect digital scans of them too. And noone is sad. This is a terrible metaphor.
What we're saying is we would rather live for the future (TOUR AMERICANADA) than accumulate scraps of memories designed for firing at other people in the first place. More news soon, but we've found an awesome US label that can sort us out with a van and someone to drive it and awesome bands to play with places to play and sleep and money to make more records, but only on the basis we can get out there in the first place.
So you guys, here is 2012's most Un-Kony crowd sourcing appeal. We've put up 16 different art packages from the last few years, all handmade unique original versions of things that ended up being record books, tshirts and things, as well as a couple of surprises. There's hopefully enough stuff to spread out so no-one has to pay OTT money, tho those with higher than average bank balances are encouraged to buy for other people as well as themselves.
1.) Grace and the Bigger Picture cover
2.) Grace and the Bigger Picture booklet pack (4 pieces) 1/5
3.) Grace and the Bigger Picture booklet pack (4 pieces) 2/5
4.) Grace and the Bigger Picture booklet pack (4 pieces) 3/5 (graces lyrics)
5.) Grace and the Bigger Picture booklet pack (4 pieces) 4/5
6.) Grace and the Bigger Picture booklet pack (4 pieces) 5/5
7.) Gin Dagger Cite her Bar Cut cover set (2 pieces)
8.) Feels Like Summer cover set (3 pieces)
9.) Criminals cover set (3 pieces)
10.) I Ghost JF Tshirt design
11.) Are You Hungry Now design (b&w)
12.) Ghost Vomit Eurotour design (b&w)
13.) South Africa tour poster
All the above are a4 photopaper sheets made by Lewes and are The Actual Ones Off Of The Record and whatnot.
13.) Arcs Across The City stage banner
a giant smelly heavy banner featuring (decayed) cover art
14.) Mystery snare skin (smaller than a floor tom skin)
15.) Mystery floor tom skin (bigger than a snare skin)
authentically toured and destroyed by junior, these found objects are waiting for YOU to tell us what to draw on them. if you win, that is. we specialise in fraudulent family crests. idk probably.
16.) look there are people like that out there and if we don't cater for them it's like we're dismissing their ability to function as part of the human race and since we're selling it anyway, we're not exactly high enough above them on the evolutionary scale to be proud about it anyway.
17.) kelly's pants. don't click that.
There spread across a couple of different accounts so treat this as a contents page, i guess.
So there you go, good luck and we hope that you all get what you want and the combined value of which puts america within practical distance. everything can be signed on request and if we're coming to your yard at any point on tour then you can pick it up. that may be quite a small chance, but we're announcing our UK dates in literally hours, so we'll throw in Guest list to any show for winning bids too.
Thanks for taking part anywayssss. This mass potential exchange of past for future is our friendly and less greedy homebrew version of kickstarter, and there's a fair chance it'll fail cos we weren't relentless or extortionate enough, but at the very least we'll be able to buy a big enough bowl to all cry in. forever.