wow what a depressing pair of songs to sing along to.

hi. people been asking for words to some of our new songs, so here they are.

also, santa fucking claus has reached its dl limit. our hero and first american friend jay from clicky clicky paypal'd us a pound and suggested via les internets that it would be nice and christmasesque if everyone else did the same. it totally would have been. we got a tenner. from one person. the amount of debt this band is in right now scares the shit out of us so excuse us if we don't pump more cash into soundcloud to increase the download cap again. we can't even afford to fix our bass amp.

if you think thats depressing (and chances are, you don't) you should read this. actually maybe you shouldn't cos then you might end up writing depressing self absorbed whiny blog posts like this one, but for what its worth, this is the most concise and clearly worded essay i've ever read on why WE ARE FUCKING DOOMED.

anyway, have a singsong:

tru punx

i've been thinking about killing myself; stark sober and my heart wants out. all our dreams got sold. the champagne girls got old. how the rumours read right till "cardiac" and the punk boys are posing for photographs, now everyone looks confused. girls get excused and we get used. uh! we're all afraid. we're all afraid tonight. uh! we're all afraid, we're all afraid. so now yr talking about killing yourself. you got a target and it's greater than health. seems clear cut to me: you'd end so beautifully. how the camera guys stifle a cynical laugh, i guess the beauty won't show up in the photograph, so if you feel used, well, real punks don't get to choose. i've been thinking about killing myself. we raised the bar but the bar raised hell. i got the nightclub load-out blues; i bet the dancefloor parts for you. how we're always going to lose these gutter fights where whoever wins keeps digital rights. o stray spark light a fuse. champagne girls excused and we get used. uh! we're all afraid. we're all afraid tonight. uh! we're all afraid, we're all afraid and i drop the blade, walk away from the void. drop the blade you know we're all afraid, we're all afraid and i drop the blade, walk away from the void. drop the blade you know we're all afraid, we're all afraid tonight. uh! we're all afraid, we're all afraid tonight. last time! uh!

JFNV

cheer up shadow, you've got to keep the weight. pick ups you get for free. bail yr change but dont bail on me, i'll swap our skylines, rebuild the underground. mark places you'd never see, anywhere but where you need to be. come on darling what are you saying to me, there's a gap in the fringe, theres a hole in yr city where the lost sparks flicker in the gaijin bars. how they could never be theirs and they're no longer ours. and if the moves you make don't work in the morning

you should just. leave. jet over yr desperate crowd, yr passport photo tumblr proud and the bad endings will be like scars fading. i know the hours were pretty cruel. some nights you wished you'd jumped into the pool. come on darling what are you saying to me, theres a gap in the fringe, theres a hole in yr city where the lost sparks flicker in the gaijin bars. how they could never be theirs and they're no longer ours. and if the moves you make don't seem so smart in the morning, i can almost see you leaving. hands on yr hips and yr eyes to the ceiling. and if the moves you make don't seem so smart when you wake up, put on yr headphones and walk out the flat, go let the subway suck yr tired frame back, i hear every station has its own ring tone, theres like 300 stops and none of them sound like home.

o also, if yr that doubtful dude that i was talking to when i was djing the other day, look, i really am in johnny foreigner. woooooo go me xxx

CHRISTMAS NUMBER 1

hello

can we get some kind of award for being the most productive band in the world please.

here is our christmas hit single, we made it literally just now today and you can download it for free. god, it's not like we need money or anything.

santa fucking claus by johnny foreigner

notice yr still shivering, still wearing his coat. but we were lost there.

how deritend was silent under white.

"seven cigarettes and only six matches light" i said "yr so deep, i've drowned"

all the world is static-paused tonight so just come over, we'll have a slow christmas.

shed our bitter autumn at the door, don't think it over, we'll have a slow christmas.

a slow christmas.

wait outside yr new house write my name in the snow and come tomorrow

you know that i'll be faded out

and all these little victories in letting you go, can we have one night off.

all the world is static-paused tonight so just come over, we'll have a slow christmas.

shed our bitter autumn at the door, don't think it over, we'll have a slow christmas.

a slow christmas.

we're tinsel tacked and winter drunk on house red

were falling down on towpath slush and then were falling in bed

we're tinsel tacked and ice picked and these cheap fairy lights always short out by spring

were falling down in summer parks and then were falling out.

are you thawing.

are you thawing tonight?

all the world is static-paused tonight so just come over.

shed our bitter autumn at the door, don't think it over.

grab his coat and go, i'll split the taxi, just come over, we'll have a slow christmas

a slow christmas.

also here is a (lazy) video. we had an awesome screenplay but then coldplay ripped us off pretty much shot for shot, so this'll have to do yis. fire and robots can be soothing.

thats two new snow songs in a row. normal summer sevice to be resumed next week.

HAPPY WINTERVAL EVERYONE

xx

santa fucking claus

we dont have the time to go to a proper studio

we dont have the money to use any adults

it's too cold to even get the drums out of the van

and

i've lost the sleigh bells we bought last year

but tonight we're going to start recording a christmas song.

long way around the sea.

im starting to worry that i'll forget how to feel loved. fsdnosgnwoesvdiovsiovdyhnjm.

you know when you tumblr stalk people and you realise the whole site is basically one big repost that says "ohai i have liek, no confidence, plz tell me my boob-hinty self shot makes me just as attractive as the last girl to do a boob-hinty self shot and if not here's someone else's photograph of some brand i identify with only taken with the contrast up because i am quite artistic and appreciate colours"?

do you ever think, when we're all like, 50 years old with real jobs, that all our neuroses will have been vanquished as a result of such mass digital catharsis, and we'll be all the more balanced and responsible people for it and thus improve humanity?

i thought i should fill some space here cos it looks like we died on the way to america. we nearly did, but thats another story. like, a 12 page tour diary i've just finished and need wing-arm to proof read. so, here is a bullet point list of the kool things we have done since i last wrote here

- america (obviously)

- was huge and brilliant and one of the few places where epic is not hyperbole. THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who bought stuff off our internet shops; you paid for the first legs deposit on the van and some buffalo wings. Those who went above and beyonds, we have a file on you and you'll get some kind of non-monitary reward at some points. ridiculously text heavy tour diary also coming soon.

- our split 7" with stagecoach came out.

- lewes did an art-off with secretly swedish and it came out beautiful. we contributed a song called tru punx don't get 2 choose, the title got cut along the line somewhere, presumably by the Grammar Police, and a barbershopified version of good luck with your 45

, which took about a 90 years for me to mix properly because none of our babs were in time and cool edit went mental and destroyed the piano sounds (tho i think that made them better). Stagecoach do a song called not even giles, its probably their best song ever and has 63 different catchy bits, and a cover of salt pepa which glides and floats and is infinitely better than them internet acoustic covers. I guess im mostly preaching to the converted, but, if not: BUY IT. all the reviews have been rad too, not that such things should matter to those with their own ears.

- its AWESOME CAKE TIME:

- we played phizz fest in wimbledon, it was fun and games but being broke meant using the inhouse sound man, which is fine unless they're a complete mentalist like this guy. does anyone remember ozric tentacles? me neither, but this guy used to be one, an

d seems all the worse for it now. i don't want to write a para telling sad tales about the behaviour of some old hippie casualty but i'd recommend bands play at the grove and experience this broken storm of a man.

- our EP came out. well, slowly. the cds are all done and ready and come with a little photoghost, the 12" are sitting in the corner of wing-arm and frobots front room being turned from black canvases to handmade works of amazement.

We totally didn't think this project out. each record sleeve, from start to finish, takes about 20-25 mins to make. We have 500. urkz! luckily we have plenty of van time to production line ourselves. 150 have already gone to alcopop hq, so preorders there should be fulfilled soon, and we're trying for another 100 this week for our distributor, so if you've preordered from somewhere else then maybe yours is the next one i write.

It's kinda sad in a way, i wish we could gallery them for a while, cos they look so impressive lined up on the floor, but no-ones ever going to see more than a few in the same place.

Anyway, im picking up the last sets of photos from wichita next week, so then we'll do all the prize work for everyone. This also has awesome reviews for those of you who still buy music based on decimal scoring, so thank you all you journalisty types. for sure, we're #betterthanthebeatles. Seem to have done a million interviews too, and none of them have been shit, so im sure you'll be pleased to read some more rambly gubbins elsewhere. these are probably my favourites, interviews are getting fun: 1998 loaded magazine bloke test style and pictionary style (also, audience pictionary style)

- We did a Brand New Song for gold flake paint and played it in a freezing cold art gallery in bristol. Its called, a kings heath story and is about snow and stuff. you can see our dan branching out into the world of live percussion too. it should be up next week, meantimes here are words cos i know you like it like that.

i walked out when it ended on addison road where the cozy hearts were stowed. took yr parents whisky and yr bad advice and the bottle smashed on the ice. and we'll make the best with the heat thats left. we could shut ourselves in, i can't stay i can't stay awake. we should cover our tracks but the snows covered everything. blanketed, glistening, is this heaven for you. i walked out in the blizzard and i got soaked to the skin. from the outside looking in, the glow of the tv and the frosted glass and a shiver that won't last. and we'll stay under the blankets till we see the beams of searchlights silhouetting snowflakes against the roofs of old friends houses

- our youkay tour is almost over, just southampton tomorrow and then up to scotland in the heatwave. Thanks to everyone braving the weather for coming out, its been awesome and sweat-filled as ever. If you live in london then you clearly need to know about this SUPER RAD END OF TOUR/YEAR PARTY thats been added on, 13th december. o shit also, dom who does our recordings is doing our sound on this tour, and LOOK WHO HE MET ON HIS DAY OFF!

legendville. he wussed out about asking his opinions of joan of arcs album campaign which would have been interesting to hear. but still, jealous.

we gave ourselves transformer names. im flywheel, kelly is wing-arm (to be reborn mallet) and junior is frobot. dan has one too but it's so offensive that when i told everyone i'd mentioned it in an email interview they were kinda shocked. so if anyone can think up a new name for dan, that'd save us the time we really need to spend time drawing then cutting then scribbling then marking then glueing then pressing then taping then writing then labelling then packing then reboxing

.

k hope everyone is keeping warmer than i am. you can buy both our new records direct from our label right here

xx