Monday, September 27, 2010

Empire Records

is still one of my favourite films ever. The reason me and kelly went to work in a record shop. Its a pretty fairy story tale that never plays out in real life; indie record store threatened by The Man,and despite being woefully underfunded and staffed by slacker cliches, stages epic rock show, raises cash at last minute and stays TRU PUNX 4EVA.

this is our empire records moment.

. you know whats rubbish about being a small band? big companies. the kind of big companies that can swat you away and squish you without losing any sleep. sometimes they don't squish you tho. they just sign a publishing deal with you and offer you a couple of grand to buy flights and hotels and petrols should you get offered, say, an awesome US tour, then when you come to claim the money THEY DONT FUCKING EVEN BOTHER TO PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE YOU RAT BASTARD CONNIEVING GREEDY CORPORATE FUCKHEADS.

um yeh. so we have no idea if they're avoiding us cos they know we're owed money, or they're on holiday spending our money, or they're planning on throwing a big party in toronto when we land and showering us with tourbuses and free guitar strings. even just showering us, would be a better situation than we've landed ourselves in now. IDK, maybe they're all round avril lavigne's house singing system of a down songs.

So we're coming to america alright. We guessed aforementioned Industry Cunts would find some excuse to delay paying us so we cleared our band account into juniors, put our personal savings, borrowed cash from our tour manager and our manager manager, and brought everyones tickets. American Airlines even charged us double by accident, meaning juniors bank account is a seething cauldron of debt and redness; but at least we have the tickets. What we don't have is hotel money, van hire money, driver hire money, petrol money, food money, merch-making money, don't even want to think about how we're going to afford the hitmen we want to hire now-money.

Anyways, so we've been panicing and pacing and comparing hitman quotes, realised we need to have some sort of garage sale. think of this as that tv show that goes into people's houses and sets up stalls outside selling their old crap to the rest of the street. We're a lot nicer than those people, our old crap isn't crap, and we have a waaaay more noble goal than trying to raise the cash to put auntie gladys in a home or get a kitchen extension with real wooden beams.

Here is some stuff for sale. virtual packages, if you will, from various points in our history.

Johnny Foreigner's Great Digital Goodwill Sale:

for £5 each:

We Left You Sleeping And Gone Now; Also....
(pre kelly home made country rock)

"we left you sleeping and gone now" - 11 track album
"also..." 4 extra songs we made a week or so later
14 previously unseen hand made backdrops from when we used to have a projector
40 period photographs
copious self absorbed liner note waffle

(original recordings and demos)

"every day is a constant battle" - 17 track pre-waited up demo compilation
21 previously unseen handmade backdrop things
27 period photographs and posters
all our pre - best before record art (including 3d polaroids and all 5 bullring covers)
more liner note waffles

For £4:

High Quality Bootleg Audiovisual Setmenu:
8 songs recorded this summer as part of the Wichita Has A Week Long 10th Birthday Party celebrations at the Garage in LDN, featuring 3 totally new songs + cameos from the chaos horns and gareth and neil campesinos!
full set shot with 2 Hi Res cameras from front of house and sound desk audio
mp3s of sound desk audio
danPOV package - see and hear but not smell the show, an interview and other fun larks thru the HD eyes of our tech dan
two extra bonus mp3s of acoustic live session songs

and for £2.50 each

ltd edition tour EP, 7 otherwise unavailable recordings, 24 period photos from juniors camera, and 2 awesome lush desktop wallpapers made in collaboration with World renown architect and Topshop founder Lewes Herriot.

just the audio from our superfun LDN show (+ 2 acoustic songs)

so yeh. you can see full tracklistings for everything by clicking the respective links.

we're using bandcamp to distribute the music, everything else will be sent via the miracle of dropbox to yr email as soon as we see it. It'll be checked everyday from now until forever, so nothings going to get lost and delayed unless the government cuts off everyones internets.

Last of all, if you'd like to guarantee getting one of lewes's beautiful heart/america tour tshirts you can preorder by clicking here. They'll be sent off a week or so into the tour.

Tho we clearly can't stress enough the IF YOU DONT GIVE US YOUR MONEY THEN WE ARE COMPLETELY SCREWED, we're still old enough to remember spending £15.99 on joan of arc albums from tempest (rip), so asking a combined £16.50 for 49 songs and a bunch of video and home made arts stuff doesn't exactly feel like begging. still, look at our big eyes and silky fur. you know if you don't pay, we get put down right?

K cools. Whatever you give will go directly into the america fund, i was lying about the hitman. Thanks. back soon.

(TLDR : we're selling everything. go here and here and please please please all the gods in the world let us raise enough money to be able to actually do this tour.

stay close. xxxxxxx


scorpiusdiamond said...

I love the fact you guys didn't even think of sticking up a 'donate' button and gave us all these wonderful things instead.
Americy is gonna be lucky to have you.
And I'mma be lucky to have the Wichitenny goodness.

dfkjimmy said...

fucking HATE companies like this. they make me want to become a terrorist and bomb the fucking music industry. fucking full on bellends.

Daniel T. said...

i have £10 to last me a month but i just gave it to you guys (well, gave isn't the right word...acquired products) because this all sounds vaguely heartbreaking. times like these suck and if it counts for much, i am, and always have been, at a total loss for words for how much your music means to me.

i didn't mean this to sound like an obituary! i sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, hope that these issues are resolved. you guys always put 110% into everything so i have faith.

(ps. i have this huge basket of asda smart price "curry" noodles, i'm not gonna starve)

Oliver said...

Shit guys, this sucks. Buying all I can right now. Hope you get everything. P.S. I can drive, and I've always wanted to see America...

Stef Has Headphones said...

Good luck guys, just bought all of the things on offer, I really hope you manage this ok, keep on at that company! Fuck, go knock on their doors (if they're fairly close by)

Ben said...

I don't even listen to your music, i noticed this on a friends facebook and i feel sorry for you, when i get paid i will be purchasing the complete set.

David E said...

Strictly for the TLDR I want to buy stuff. But I am in America.... And planning to see you on the tour.... I can haz merch?

JaneInMA said...

Can you create a option in bandcamp to buy multiple eps at once? every time folks in the US buy stuff in pounds we get hit by a surcharge by our banks and we would prefer that money stayed with you.

Steve McKay said...

When u were describing the music industry I thought u were describing a friend i once I kinda know how u feel. Is he avoiding me, on holiday, just sacking me off, well anyways I got paid so spent lots hope it helps u. Will get others to contribute too. u guys a fucking amazing so keep going. In the words of BRS Something good can happen :0)

Online Antihero said...

That's very nasty. Sorry guys. I've ordered the set. I hope you guys make it. x

Squallmuzza said...

Fucking sucks guys. Hardly your biggest fan ever (though I was there at The Garage :3), but bought yo stuff anywho.

Mainly cause you're awesome peoples, and I vaguely remember talking to Lex at the Hippodrome while utterly off my tits and thinking he was awesome.

Best of luck sorting the shit out for the US :)

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I just googled mannet and the top link is gay porn. Jus' sayin...

Anonymous said...

bought and blogged for our friends to see, good luck with getting stateside!

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