ha, stoners

y'know that compilation we just released? s'alright yeh? 2 things:

1) there when you need it was the working title for our alcopop ep. i thought i was being clever reusing the name but now i'm worried that in 100s of years, when internet historians are digging up our career, they'll see references to the working title and assume that this compilation is that ep. obviously this will keep me awake at night far more than it will you. A way better title appeared in my head too late, if i told you, you'd all be like, wow alexei you're so cool, but i think we should use it for something else so i daren't mention it in relation to this in case these interneteologists fall into a similar trap and give up on us.

2) we, um, forgot a song from our roundup. ooops! it's a cover of the most beautiful widow that we did for artrocker in summer. have it for free: (thanks dave from soundcloud for upgrading us!)

the most beautiful widow by johnny foreigner

vs the arts

shitbeard is gone.

Hello April, have a tourette;

> > 2nd Edinburgh - Haddowfest

> > 3rd Edinburgh - Haddowfest (matinee show)
> > 18th Wakefield - The Hop

> > 19th Aberdeen - Cafe Drummonds

> > 20th Glasgow - Nice n Sleazy (+Stagecoach)
> > 22nd Nottingham - Bodega Social
> > 23rd Preston - Mad Ferret (+Stagecoach)
> > 24th Milton Keynes - Sno Bar>

> > 26th Birmingham - Hare & Hounds St (+Stagecoach & Pandas and People)
> > 27th Liverpool - The Shipping Forecast (+Stagecoach)
> > 28th Manchester - Night & Day St (+Stagecoach)
> > 29th Stoke - Underground
> > 30th Wimbledon - Grove Tavern

won't you come out with us? We don't have much in the way of supports yet and we're old and out of touch. So if anyone has any suggestions or would like to promote themselves for opening bands then write to us at the bottom of this page with links and we'll see if they meet our insanely high expectations. let us know which gig too, our geography is shit.

also while i'm here: We're doing this album, see. and we need to start thinking about artwork. we've probably taken the interactive photo thing as far as we can go. at least, without transplanting extra arms onto our bodies that are solely devoted to cutting and drawing. but, y'know, it would also seem kinda rude to leave you guys out of the process after we welcomed yr nudie pics last time.

SO THE PLAN HERE IS COLLAGE.

I made a list of one line descriptions, of an image from each of the Fantastic New Songs that we're making.

What you lovely people have to do (please), is go take a photo that matches one or many or all of them. We haven't really planned this out too much, we havent even though of formatting or actual product yet. The idea is to build up a bank of images that we (lewes ((HI LEWES)) ) can draw over, so each song has it's own collage of photos that all tangentially relate to the subject matter as interpreted by the targeted product demographic. It's like some 4th wall breaking metatree. it doesn't have to make sense anyway, its art.

There's 15 songs/briefs in all. I'm not going to put the list here, to Preserve The Mystique of the record itself and also partly cos i quite like the idea of a secret artwork circle. We'll do some sort of prize for those that submit a full set, and maybe have a dinner party.

Are you interested? obviously,hi res is best, but don't let the quality dictate. usual disclaimers; no money but full credit, and we'll ask yr permission to use it in any other context. Please don't submit anything that could get us into legal trouble, unless its urbex stuff, which we totally encourage (and rarely ends in arrests or charges)

also, we'll handle everything digitally, so you don't have to part with money for our expense and even people who live on the moon can take part. does the internet go to the moon?

so, if you want to be involved, write to johnnyforeigner@hotmail.co.uk, and we'll send you the briefs. title yr message "I'M DOING THE PHOTOGRAPHY FOR YOU LADS" so it doesn't get lost amongst offers of free ipads and shit pr..

the worst thing about making the ep sleeves was building up this awesome room of record sleeves, like some kind of exhibit, then packing them into boxes where they'd all go live seperate lives. this is like the opposite of that; everythings going to be together forever, thus balance is restored. ok awesomes thanks for yr time. more gigs and release news soooon

xx

ohai hard shoulder

its been a while...

addendum.

took that picture at about four in th afternoon. kelly flew out of paris this morning and jun and lea and me had a nice easy drive back to home in time for tea. just got in. FUCK YOU, the AA. something went bang about 3 hours drive from home. we waited on th hard shoulder, the AA said they'd be an hour. then after an hour they said they'd be about 45 mins. we got drunk. after 45 minutes, they said ten minutes. then they rang back to say, actually, more like an hour and a half. RAGE!!!!!!
then a towtruck came. towtruck man said he'd been waiting for us about 8 junctions down the road for the last hour or so cos the AA messed up. HE RAGE!!! the AA also said there were two of us not three so the towtruck man couldnt fit us in. we sobered up. lea and towtruck man take turns to phone AA and beg for taxi. taxi is arranged. taxi is not arranged. taxi might be arranged, AA isnt really sure. towtruck man can't leave us to wait on hard shoulder on our own, he's obliged to stay until we're safe. to pass the time he tells us about yesterday when he was on a similar job just down the road, - he was waiting with a family on th hard shoulder when a car came, only it wasnt a taxi, it was a 4x4 and the driver was texting or something. tl,dr : the 18yr old girl got crushed and died mostly instantly and the 80yr old granny had her legs amputated on the scene. just down there, he points...
AA eventually organise a taxi. tho, they don't know where its coming from or how long it'll be. suspect AA have probly just ordered themselves pizza instead.

after about another hour of not dying in a horrific stupid sober mess, another AA man comes and drives us to a safer layby. van gets towed off, taxi appears, head off, overtake van, and all meet up at an industrial estate in redditch at midnight. it was kinda romantic in a 3rd album suede sense, ie, not really tho...

anywayss we're home and alive, our van is not. o dearrrrrr. tomorrow or something i'll write nice things about the beautiful venue and friendly awesome crew and lou barlow saying nice things about us. meanwhile,lorene took nice photos. im sorry about my beard..

xlex