Showing posts with label GET BITTER MUCH?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label GET BITTER MUCH?. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

preorder 12" gogogogoogooooooo


this is a very shrunk version of 1/4 of the rebuilt cover art for the 2x12 release of Vs Everything. We promised everyone we'd make this happen and cos jack is awesome it has. preorder linky is at the bottom if you want to skip the part of this where i moan about shit.




1) Brian Wood's new comic, The Massive, is just brilliant and everyone should go buy it

2) Bands reforming is kind of like exes coming on to you innit. Like, you were awesome and you probably are still but I've kinda moved on. and I feel guilty cos I was into those bands with all my heart and soul and wallet and they break up and I get all upset and then get over it and find another band to fall in love with and then they come back and they're all HEY GUYS WE NEVER REALLY BROKE UP WE WERE JUST DOING DIFFERENT THINGS! fuck no, you broke up. I remember where i was when I heard about it and I maybe cried.  I'm barely past teary eyed 4am youtube crushes and I just want to call bullshit: all you guys, you walked away from me, and now you have drunk nostalgia money eyes and you want me back.

I'd never be so rude tho, cos you guys are my actual heroes. You invented me.

 I loved you once. You were massive parts of my life. You lost it to whatever mundane reasons that eventually end bands; egos, boredom, bank balances. and nothing you did since caught fire like that again. You faded out, became replaced. Nostalgia is a sound business plan now. So you cash in. because fuck knows you deserve to be paid. You deserve infinite money for those goosebumps you raised on my arms; be they last night at 4am over my shitty laptop or a damp Thursday evening in 1998 at the Shite and Duck in Camden. Those feelings are literally priceless

I don't think there's any shame in that. Or that there's any shame for not wanting to play shows where the poster says  "[your new band] featuring [your name] ex-[your old band]" It's just a shame that this is what it comes down to; nostalgia fest & karaoke value. play your most famous album! play it in order! I've seen soooo mannnnnnnny taglines, fb statuses, press clippings: party like it's 1997/99/02/04. and I refuse. I refuse to be told to party like it's the past.

Don't get me wrong, this is My Problem. I'm stoked that 15 years  of word of mouth meant Cap'n Jazz could afford decent fees when they came over here. I'm happy and jealous that my friends got to dance onstage with the D-Plan, and I'm happy and smug that I got to be Pavement's merch guy. But there's so many amazing songs and records and tours being made by bands have something to say in the present tense. I don't want nostalgia. I don't want to remember the good old days, I want relevance and The Now. I want my artists to be making new shit, unfolding new real time adventures. Doing stuff that relates directly to other people alive on earth at this instant
I just don't want to see my heroes admitting they have nothing left to say to me. I don't want to see them as museum pieces when i last knew them as living breathing active creations.

Yeh this is cos of Cable. I don't want to go watch Cable. even tho, in their day, I would have crawled thru poo to have the chance. They'll be amazing. Their songs still sound punchy and clever and the lyrics are pure poetry and they have choruses as big as the atlantic. and they'll have a crowd as fervent as their heyday to play off. and I'll be at home bitter cos of this weird hangup.


3) I'm sorry for placing that rant in front of this all important link:

PREORDER JOHNNY FOREIGNER VS EVERYTHING 2x12" GATEFOLD SUPER - RECORD

Comprising of the complete "Vs Everything" album and all relevant b sides: Remember 2011, when we released that record? ahhhh It was ace weren't it. REMODEL REPACKAGE. Shut up, we've never had a proper record album before so we're clearly overcompensating with this. Excite!!::




Because we're (jack) is lovely, have a free downloadable song also.

Also note, the first 100 orders will come with this:


stickerbook! stickers! hells yes.

The street date, YO, is 16th July. but seriously, if we take an extra week finishing shit, you're not allowed to be mad at us.





Tuesday, February 8, 2011

I WEAR YOU LIKE RIBBONS

pies!


well that was mildly interesting. apologies to the apparently quite freaked out topshop marketing folks. it was never our intention to initiate mass brand slagging; we often find ourselves facing mini moral dilemmas like this one and we thought it'd be a fun experiment to see what our particular demographic would do in our place. also, pie charts are rad.

kinda pleased that the positive side won out, even more pleased to be like
HEY BIRMINGHAM WE'RE PLAYING THIS FREE SHOW AT THE CUSTARD FACTORY.

the original birds devonshire custard factory encompassed the whole block, not just the two buildings we know it as today. Our studio is on the far side of that block, so there could Very Plausibly be a secret tunnel leading to the stage. OMG AS IF.

anyways here is the the whole event eerily predicted by annoyingly tiny poster.


tsdr: tuesday 8th march, custard factory. text CTRL5 to 83338, get a secret code or something, and watch us burst out of a tunnel and play new songs.

We have too many new songs now, we need a whiteboard. thanks for partaking in our slightly bitter survey. More than anything i think this proves how easy it is to be angry on the internet, but i'm proud we illicit such a wide spread of opinions, it was like watching all the thoughts in our brains manifest themselves on facebook. eurghhhh.

next interactive game is called "roadie" and we'll meet you by the side of the stage after our set to start; each of you is assigned a flightcase or amplifier, and has to walk with it to our lockup, whereupon you get to shout "I've Been Conned!" and are declared the winner.

As a distraction i get to walk next to you droning on about how i'm not really as swayed as everyone else about Brendan Caldwells writing, but A Game Journo Story is the most fun indie computer game i've played in fucking forever. I'll probably go on about this one bit where your companion falls out with you because you put the killers on in a pub jukebox.



amazing.

other new to you news:

we'll be posting some more shows up in the next few days more UK including revised scotland dates. and maybe EUROPE but that might be a secret for now. but all the other dates leaking onto the interwebs are probably true

WE TOTALLY NEED A GRAND PIANO FOR OUR NEW ALBUM! seriously, does anyone in the birminghams know how we can get a couple of hours alone with a grand piano? just me, jun, and the worlds smallest 8track. we're hoping someone at The Rep likes our band but we'll settle for anywhere mildly illegal as long as it sounds, um, grand. write us up here with ideas:
johnnyforeigner@hotmail.co.uk


and lastly, album creation is going well, thanks for asking. we've tracked drums for 5 songs, I've sent my guitar off to a wizard to get refretted, and we have a title and everything. after the jaw-droppingly exciting news that dana made their new album with ross robinson, we were going to dress dom up as a different ross every month, but it seemed like too much effort and dom didn't look too impressed. still; open in paint:




(ross noble)


bye!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

ranty mcrant



got asked by rock sound to do a little soapbox piece about the guardian article that informed its readers how rock, as a genre, was fading out. just a few sentences. got a bit high and went on a bit too long, i think in the end they used the last paragraph. preserved here for the small minority of people who like music-related ranty polemic;


-------------
in response to the gauridan claiming rock is dead, when what they meant to say was "DEATH RACE OFFICIALLY STARTED"

I think the article itself is an inherently flawed piece of sensationalist journalism, kind of typical of a newspaper where you wouldn't expect anyone to like rock music unless it was packaged by the florence machines or bon fucking jovi. The basis of the whole piece seems to be : the pop charts last year, they were full of pop acts! Even more so than last year! Therefore, rock, which is the other form music can take, is dead. O you silly adults, you have no idea...

Do you remember when you first sold us the concept of rock? It was like, edgy, dangerous. The people that made it, they were genuinely a bit unhinged, and you exploited that to it's fullest so you could make some money for journalistic endeavours. Don't look at elvis's crotch! the who might make you explode. the new york dolls might rape you. the sex pistols, they'll make you explode and rape you. Later on, nirvana will make you self harm and marylin manson will confuse yr sexuality. are you so naive that you think that these kinds of people, and the hundreds like them who weren't pretty enough to sell yr papers for you, have just vanished? It used to be a symbiotic relationship, we knew you were vultures but we needed to please you because the internet hadn't been invented and we needed to communicate to the rest of the world. We needed to find all the other freaks that loved and understood what we were doing, so they could give us some money to keep on doing it. if the overspill meant we got tagged as "cool" and we picked up some cash from the mainstream, than, that's well and good too because this insane pressure and surreal lifestyle has led us to some pretty major drug habits. That's all over now.

Excuse the genre diversion, but, when was the last time amanda palmer was in the mainstream press? When was the last time she sold a record? She has a button on her website where people give her money. Then she does some amanda palmer stuff with that money, writes about it all on her website, people go, yeh, that's awesome, thanks, here's more money. That's the entire record industry in a couple of clicks and paragraphs. Some of her fans write about it on their websites so she's always attracting more traffic. There's a few more paragraphs that replaced the everything corrupt about the chart industry. This natural, organic and, above all, fair system of publicity and commerce is going to get better and better as the internet develops, and what we're seeing now is, forgive the analogy, the rats fleeing the sinking ship. I put it to you dinosaurs, vanguards of an industry that thrived for 80 years as loan sharks disguised as legend-makers, preying on the naive and the vulnerable, that rock music doesn't need the charts anymore.

Right, i've been blabbing on for years about how, now the internet's destroyed the music industry, bands and artists are going to have to split into two camps: those who want to be in the charts, and those who just want to rock. i think this is a clear sign that this schism is fully underway: since before we were born, a bands success was measured by radio play and chart sales. In these heady web 2.0 days, a band can make a living without having to utilise either of those channels. This isn't a new thing, (ask yr parents about crass or gbh, ask their parents about led zeppelin) but the decline of greedy cunts in suits has led to a whole bunch of alternatives opening up; indie distributors, bedroom labels, online shops, fucking myspace! essentially, rock isn't dead, it just looked at it's options and thought, them pop charts are kind of beneath me; I don't want to be contextualized in-between some pop idol kid and some goons whoring out my culture, and neither does the demographic that loves me, so, fuck em.

Have you noticed the rise of this awful celebrity - baiting industry? Robbie Williams is nobodies hero here i'm sure, but he makes a valid point - "these people, they hide outside my house waiting for something to go wrong so they can make money out of it. if i die when they're around, they'll be rich. I think that's evil." Those magazines, that culture, hangs around at the top of the charts, waiting for another heroin crisis poster boy or punk suicide. Sure, you can ride it out if you have say, queens of noise managing to convince the country yr 23 and a genuine unhinged star in waiting, but, as i think we all agree, florence and the machine = not rock. Chances are if yr reading this, most of the bands you love don't want this kind of attention; they want to sell enough shirts so they can afford to keep touring and put some food on the table, they don't really care about the size of their audience as long as the front rows are dancing, and they're clever enough to see the idea of popular rock stardom as a hangover from a bygone era. For all the whimsical eccentric spin journalists over 40 like to put on the pop charts, they're still an just an advertising mechanism for a pretty shitty industry.

I think the rock sound response does a good job of highlighting specific examples of living rock, but i'd like to chip in a few others. I'll go from the start of the year when everyone was like NO WAI RATM stole christmas! and then i'll point everyone latter half of the year where PABH, for my money one of the most exciting and scuzzy and fun ROCK bands of our generation, got played like, every fucking day on radio 1, their singer got plastered on 50ft high billboards over the capital for some ad campaign and even my girlfriends MUM went to watch them. thats a 50 year old woman enjoying the totally regular spectacle of a sold out room of kids mosh themselves crazy to a guy screaming "AWESOME RADICAL TOTALLY BODACIOUS" over giant grin-inducing dirtyass guitar riffs. exhibiting all the symptoms of a dead genre. like jazz, AHAHAHAHA. also this year, pretty much all my favourite bands; pavement, cap'n jazz, the d plan, reformed and toured to bigger crowds than they'd ever drawn in their youth. sure, there was a proportion of all their crowds who were just there for a nostalgia trip or curiosity, but those rooms were rocking out waaay harder than any pop idol show i ever saw, and none of them give a crap about chart sales. one last point, and i'm not really proud of this but it works to serve a point, i dj at a pretty standard indie night and nothing makes people rtfo like limp sodding bizkit.

so yeh, there's an expanding nugget of awesome amongst the smoking debris of the industry, and that's very much a part of this split: there's hardly any money in being in a rock band anymore. there's no big label deals, no coke and hooker parties, songs are physically worth a whole lot less money than they used to be and yr never going to get on top of the pops. so the only people left to start bands are those who just have an urge to make rock music are the ones driven to do it out of pure love for the music, the buzz of playing live and watching people move to their songs and take them home and soundtrack their lives. all the idiots who just want to chase fame, put on some makeup and generic emo clothes and go on chart shows and try and convince people they're genuine edgy artistes, no longer have the motivation; so the rest of us can carry on using this awesome punka internet, the magazines that haven't sold out for the sake of becoming household names, the guys running record labels out of their bedrooms and shitty rented office space, safer in the knowledge that the quality of the end product, that 12 months of hard graft turned into an album that you just got off rapidshare in 2 minutes, is going to be a lot higher.

Make no mistake, it's death race time here in the music business. it's going to take a while before all our bands and their fans can get our amanda palmer shit together, and the dinosaurs are getting desperate to preserve the old order. We'll come out of it in a generation or so, and be stronger for it, more exciting, more personal, but now, more than ever before, the way YOU choose to find and fund the music you love makes more of a difference than ever before. Pick your bands, pick yr writers, all that stuff that goosebumps you thru otherwise colourless and drab times, and know that if they stop, have to get "real" jobs, it'll be your fault and your loss. and i hope we're both still here on the other side.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

ive just read this awful review of us

i mean, its not awful, the guy totally bums my guitar playing and appreciates our music FOR WHAT ITS WORTH LIKE. and he enjoyed our set, which is obviously THE POINT
but
(its about the free show we did at the flowerpot)

says he saw us "mincing around looking nervous cos noone was there" then we get a "rent-a-crowd" then "agree to go on when there audience is an acceptable size"

and at the end, i apparently have a guitar-trashing temper tantrum which is filmed for the feels like summer video. WHAT EXCUSE ME? as far as me and my guitar and the guy who made our video WHO WE DIDNT EVEN KNOW HAD BROUGHT HIS CAMERAHH this is all spurious lies that make us look like some poxy music biz band.

which is so much bullshit. like we could afford rent-a-crowds. or even tell the promotors when were going on. but really, the guy namedrops talking to me, like, whatafuckinghonor, and i feel like i was conned. i remember him, i think, i was drunk assss, and he seemed like a nice guy. apart from this wierdly cynical overimagination i'm sure he is.

i dunno, im all for people writing shit on the internet cos its ONLY THE INTERNET and other peoples opinions dont really bother us. especially when they're wrong. but that hideous style of writing, like, mock-cynical i-know-all-the-tricks really REALLY depressess me. one of the UNIQUE SELLING POINTS YOU CUNT of our band is we all have this stupidly naive attitude that people who like our band also like other bands we like, and therefore each show is a whole room full of potential friends. which is a super-flouncy faux punk statement worthy of jonah mantra, but probably the last bastition of anti-cynicism id stand by. we're not like, popstars, we're just as skint and sorry as everyone else, we weat the same tshirts, were on the same fucking side and we'd like to swap mix cds, we just happen to write good songs and weve had some good luck. simple.

anyway it was nice to be able to mince around YR OWN FUCKING SHOW without feeling like yr making a negative impact on yr press. where else are you supposed to mince round? the mincing rooms? god i have this image of him when i went to see if anja or gavin had arrived, or got a drink, or god forbid actually talk to people who like my band, staring at my back thinking "he looks nervous, he's a nervous mincer"

igsrhnvrahrevre

i only clicked on it cos there was a link for a review of feels like summer that said it started with a guitar riff that was stolen from a feeder song. and mentioned the t word. (twee. cos we're twee. HOW THE FUCK ARE WE TWEE YOU FUCKING IDIOTS. ARE YOU NOT SUPPOSED TO LEARN THE MEANING OF A WORD BEFORE USING IT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST PLEASE SOMEONE EITHER EXPLAIN HOW WE ARE TWEE OR LET US EXECUTE EVERY SELF PROCLAIMED MUSIC WRITER WHO DENOUCES US AS SUCH THANKS GOD. anyway she didnt like it, its a rubbish twee song, not as good as los camp, greaty, and thats good yeh? thats the sides i was ranting about before. doesnt like us but doesnt "get" us, so the actual opinions dont bother us. if we wrote music for everyone to get, then, we'd be rich. i mean, rubbish, not us doing what we love doing at getting paid for it. and, apart from rants like this, doing what the fuck we want has done us pretty well, and we know who our friends are k thx.

But, this mince-proclaimer, he likes us. i think. i mean, he's theoretically on our side, he liked the show, he likes our songs, i daresay we share loads of the same records. and that totally bums me out. im never talking to anyone ever again, goodbye forever.

(apart from the internet)
(or if you do the secret knock on our mincing room door)
(and on stage)
(im not really im just moaning, sorry if you thought this was going to be fun. bye)
(apologies are twee. FUCK YOU, everyone)

xlex