second city trauma zone

So it seems like some horrible tradition that every time we return to brummagem after an overseas adventure, there's another historic and awesome local venue shutting down/about to be shut down/scared of being shut down.

This time it's the Hare and Hounds in Kings Heath. I've been watching and playing shows in that building since 1995. jesus. It's now one of the best stages and rooms in the city, with gigs run by a lovely bunch of people who work hard for it AND understand not only how important smaller venues like this are to our bedraggled local musical community, but to the massive global scene of established touring bands that can't guarantee 500 people to every show.

And now they're scared cos someone's trying to build residential nearby, and our shitty council has a reputation of favouring noise complaints over culture/music/scene/happiness of population.

This sucks for sure, i'm signing the petition and if you live in Bham and care about your community then you probably should too.

BUT SERIOUSLY

Why should we have to? Why should we consistently have to be so scared and wary. Fuck, I'd like to build a flat next to the hare. I'd like to build flats next to all my favourite venues so i have less distance to my own bed and can have bitchin afterparties in my kitchen.


Our council sold us out years ago when we got bullring. We just wanted a clean shopping centre, with lights that worked. We got (for like, 6 months, thanks spain) Europes Largest Shopping Hub. (The lights still flicker tho)

That was a massive investment, and to keep that reputation, those high end chain stores in business and paying the rent, Birmingham went all snog marry avoid, stripped the grime from its face and tried to fool the rest of the country into thinking it was some kind of culturally aware rennaisance town. The words "trendy" and "upwardly mobile" were probably used at demographic appropriation meetings.

We (as in the city council, me personally was mostly taking pills and listening to Chicago bands) tried to lure people from the rest of the country in with a succession of reasonable priced (for them LOL) high rise flats within stumbling distance of bullring; like a less dramatic (more brummy) version of the hacinda, the eastside punk scene was systematically replaced over a couple of years by a bunch of apartments with a picture of a guitar on their corporate branding.

Even the Rotunda, an epic start to finish story of civic fail and the most iconic piece of skyline we can claim, had false walls and extra toilets installed so customers people could live inside it.

What had been a derelict dingy mess full of discount stores and boarded up failures literally became the new city centre. The old city centre, Corporation Street and surroundings, became a derelict dingy mess full of discount stores and boarded up failures, but if yr one of Birminghams trendy and upwardly mobile new recruits, you can live in your flat, spend your money in the shiny bullring, and never even see the weird  grey deathsprawl that lies north of New St station.

Urgh and really there's no point me whining about it anymore. This is what cities do now. cheap space gets filled by people with no money> people with no money make the best art> cheap space gains reputation from art and becomes expensive space>artists move out

all our council did was encourage the shortening of that cycle cos they realised people with multiple credit cards were more likely to buy expensive sushi and seasonal fashion than a bunch of hobos and punks with embarrassing accents. and, y'know, CHEAP LAND.

this is how cities work now.

so i find petitions like this, no matter how needed, desperately embarrassing. a petition against a proposal for a possible flat to be filled with person or persons unknown that might be selfish idiots. After all those guys and girls have worked for, all the promotion and the hours and sheer love over money mindset that's meant the Hare now has a reputation outside of 0121, they don't even know the name of the idiot thats going to fuck them.

The selling point of city centre living is, city centre living. Like, you live amidst the buzz and excitement and clamour and noise. The arrogance of someone who would move into a flat on Westside and complain about the Rainbow, or opposite the Hare and complain about loud music, frankly, astounds me darling. These are the people we should be specifically targeting and petitioning. - WHY DID YOU MOVE HERE? WE, THE UNDERSIGNED, THINK YOU ARE AN IDIOT AND SHOULD MOVE SOMEWHERE MORE SUITABLE. WE WERE HERE FIRST.

Because the council's always fucked us over, and the worse the economy gets, the larger the deathsprawl, the less incentive they have to invest in art and culture and anything that may or may not see a return in 5/10 years time. They'll always side with the noise complaint idiots. It's not that they don't want us, they just need that idiots money cos we spend all ours on guitars and vodka and gig tickets. This is what our cities are now.

I think the flat will get built. Cos they always get built in the end, and i am a negative person.

but i do think there's good and reason in every human being ever, and i can't help notice how anonymous the constant barrage of threats and closures and license removals are. Has any of us, ever tried talking to any of them?

Lets ignore the cops and the council and everyone in the middle and invite ourselves over with a bottle.

We can be like, thanks for choosing to be part of this community, because cliquefuck or no, that's what they've done. They found us attractive and wanted to be part of it. We can explain that if it wasn't for the Hare and Hounds, or the Flapper, or the Rainbow (or whatever venues next), then Birmingham would be off map for 100s of touring bands around the world, and it's taken years of constant non profit work to build the reputation of these places, so please don't call the council if you get some teenage puke on your doorstep or some police sirens in your dreams because it's a really small price to pay for living in an active and thriving and exciting and connected and FUN part of town.

Wah wah. i know this is hella gay and emo, urgh sharing feelings, is totally not the birmingham way, but honestly, we played like 20 american quasi-legal basements/houses/apartments/warehouses last month, and they all exist because somewhere along the line, some people had conversations something like that one above.

In Chicago, the council only shuts them down when they turn into full on 3 story 5 days a week drug fuelled punk squats. In Durham, our hosts Joe and Ashlee live in this beautiful converted apartment next to the town hall. It was out of their price range, so they wrote to the land lady explaining they were both part of the art community that Durham sells/prides itself on, and it seemed unfair to price them out of their own city centre. In a dozen towns notable for nothing, kids asked their neighbours to be cool and let them have a few hours of noise each month, then they asked their friends to be cool and not act un-neighbourly.

AND IT FUCKING WORKS YOU CUNTS SO WHY DOESN'T IT WORK HERE.

bah humbug / happy christmas

seriously tho, go sign this now.

Letter Circle Jerk

I meant to post this semi coherent thing below last week but didn't cos I hadn't spellchecked it or owt. Couldn't sleep so I thought I'll just do it now. and now it's 7am and I'm hella tired and I haven't even written the post I was supposed to writeMYLIFESUXXXXURGH. ps thanks to everyone whose bought this; I dunno if I ever told you but making money from music is kinda my dream, so, flattered, thank you. The stuff I was going to write will for sure come tomorrow. Probably. I have to rehearse and go to That London and play a show and get my OHLIMPICK ACCESS PASS and really, staying up was the worst idea ever. 

oh quickly, bad news / good news

the first 100 records are going to probably ship a week late. DO NOT SHOUT AT JACK FOR THIS! IT IS OUR FAULT! who knew that making a sticker book and stickers would be so much art work. 

BUT

softening this blow is this fact: each one will ship with 20 stickers, not 5 like we said before, thus saving you from buying more from us should you wish to keep indulging our vanity. They'll be blindpacked tho, we're not going to make it too easy.  

i hope this is an acceptable state of affairs to you all. 

xlex

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Bandwagon jumping, but y'know, every old male musician should write a letter to Emily White.

Dear Emily White

You're not saying anything that like, 99% of your generation hasn't thought or said before. seriously. My mate Alan's music collection eclipsed yours in 2002 and the only musician he'd ever buy cds from was Sam Zurich. You just got noticed and picked on cos you work in The Biz and not the real world, and, obviously you're new here, but it's bad form to be so open about it. The old ones get stroppy. 

It would be nice to think that the people who actively pursue careers in the music industry would also be the people who have bought more than 15 physical releases in their life, but whatevs.  It's sort of like when I used to have 15 different games consoles and related carts and controllers littering my front room, then one day I got an xbox and the big ass emulator discs and stuck pretty much everything else in the loft*. At least yr not pretending to care..

I like to take pride and boast about those consoles tho**, and thats the difference between us. 

It's that big split that I'm always boring people about; how music will look in 50 years time; there'll be commercial mass market tesco bands and there'll be grass roots working bands. we're clearly gonna be on opposite sides of this darkest timeline, but that's no reason we can't coexist. We'll make our money from small runs of novelty media, tour reputation, and sheer human kindness, and you guys can make yours from the all format song/royalty distribution machine you wish for in your letter***. Every now and then we can do a trade, you give us an ironically fashionable girl band / dangerous black guy*** and in return we'll give you the bloodied corpses of kurt cobain, elliot smith and mark linkous **** to apply some of that hologram magic to.

2) Letter to David Lowery

I agree with pretty much everything you say, but it's so patronising it kinda verges on creepy. I didn't feel that she was positioning herself on a particular side so much as saying the truth as it was to her. Not saying that's better or worse, just that it seems silly to try "recruit" her cos she isn't the one with the battle to fight. You're right to say that it's wrong for people to accept illegal free music, but that battle, that human impulse, was lost the first time one caveman said something funny and another caveman passed it on as his own*****. and, since the time of cheap recordable media in the 70s, your ideology has had to be legally enforced. If this was (insert name of whichever ---ball sport you follow) then the internet is the team made of robots from the future who also have guns and are more attractive to the opposite sex. dude, I'm so sorry, the war is over and we lost. 

It's ok tho. necessity is the mother of frisbee singles and sticker books and dozens more fun ideas artistic people can create. That's if you sign up for my new war. It's set 50 years from now and I think we'll be fighting holograms. The pay is shit, but that's not why we're here, right?  

Also, the public blackmail charity thing would be a shitty thing to do even if it wasn't a Teenage Girl on the Internet. I would have suggested Emily started an Oatmeal style campaign and backlashed you up, but then you explained how she was an accomplice in the murder of poor Sparklehorse.. WAIT NO YOU REALLY DID JUST GO THERE.  "if only Emily's generation hadn't  used the internet, then EMI would have been all like,  - hey mark, have loads of money and stop sulking. Unfortunately, her and all the other kids ripped the albums off napster, so EMI had to let him kill himself" is not a direct quote.

3) Letter to Travis Morrison

Omg you bastard. I was in Glasgow once with £8 to my name. and I found ! for £8, and guilted myself into buying it cos the only copy I had was a cdr stolen from an (undeserving) dj.  and I'd heard that you guys didn't make much $$ so I brought it, then we went to some fancy pub and everyone else had an awesome massive roast dinner and i had a cold sausage roll that I found in my pocket from the morning. and the waitress noticed and everything.  and I played it in the car on the way back and everyone was like, this is shit, did you not bring Is Terrified? So right now I'm filestube-ing the tits off your career, I hope your last album is better than Is Terrified.****** 

It's also sort of like when Dan told Lewes that he printed all his artwork of his blog and papered his room with it. Only less funny. 

**coleco-vision, 2600,  nes, snes, master system, mega drive, 32x, mega-cd, saturn, jaguar, cd32, cd-i, (ltd edition pikachu) N64, dreamcast, gamecube, ps2. and now i exclusively play grabbatron or pocket planes on ipod touch. urgh. 

***I couldn't stay awake fully thru David's lecture, but at one point I think my eyes wandered over a paragraph relating to this. anyway guys, the exact system you're describing actually exists right now at least once, in the hands of a South African start up media company whose name I forget. The trouble is, who'd voluntarily switch over to this model whilst Clear Channel and the majors control so much of the industry? The kind of bands you guys probably wouldn't care about, is who. 50 years, you'll see. 

****I have been exclusively listening to Azealia Banks for two months solid now so clearly I'm happy with a mix of both.

*****All major label suicides with looming financial problems and lifestyle related drug issues, and unique genius song-magicians. especially sparklehorse*. 

****** People talk about how home taping was the original file sharing, but I'm genuinely intrigued as to what happened before that. Like, in the middle ages, did people secretly copy musical scores and sell them off in the next village? What about before notation, in actual caveman time? Was there ever a caveman who came up with a particular melody, and then one day he was whistling it and another caveman who could whistle started copying him? and everyone heard the other caveman and praised him, and the first one was all FUCK THATS MY WHISTLE MELODY HE STOLE IT. I bet that happened. I would like to take a time machine back to that point, and I'd say, hey it's fine, this is how humanity is supposed to work. 

*******It's not.

* oh man, i really miss sparkleyhoss. 

TOUR PLUGMEDO

hi.

may i take a moment to impress on you, that as well as taking part in public internet lolz, we also have this band thing going on?

here are some dates of shows that we are playing really soon. we go on tour like, NEXT WEEK OMGEXCITEZ. We've been rehearsing and everything!

johnny foreigner vs the music industry tour

18th april, the hop, wakefield (16+, free show)

19th april, the tunnels, aberdeen (14+)

20th april, nice and sleazy, glasgow (18+)

22nd april, bodega social, nottingham (14+)

23rd apil, mad ferret, preston (18+)

24th april, sno bar, milton keens (18+)

26th april, hare and hounds, birminghasm (18+)

27th april, shipping forecast, liverpool (18+)

28th april, night and day, manchester (18+)

29th april, the underground, stoke (14+)

30th april, grove tavern, wimbledon (stage destroying last ever show at the grove. + 10000 other bands)

1st may, black cap, london (camden crawl show)

3rd may, l'international, paris FRA

4th may, exit, rotterdamn HOL

5th may, schaubude, keil, GER

6th may, sub071, lieden, HOL (tbc)

7th may, le romandie, laussane (part of may days festival), SWI

8th may, HALL, heidleburg, GER

9th may, AZ, aachen, GER

10th may, club007, prauga, CZR,

11th may, asta kniepe, rosenheim, GER

12th may, drunkluft, oberhausen, GER

13th may, rosi's, berlin, GER

14th may, swamp, freiburg, GER

15th may, heimat, regensburg, GER

26th may, norwich arts centre, norwich

27th may, las festival, aberdare

and it'd be nice if you came to one of them. extra euro-incentive, from the 3rd to the 15th may we'll be a four piece; ben is flying from south africa to once again do amazing visual image wizardry and fall over on stage with us. also, from the 8th, we'll be supported by young legionaire. For the uk shows, we should have a really small amount of frisbeeps to sell, as well as a couple of classy new shirt designs:

anyone complaining we're not playing near where you live, SHUTUP SHUTUP SHUTUP. we're taking care in the UK to hit places we've missed for a while, there'll be more european and uk shows later in the year, and, most of, reading them kind of comments pure depresses us. we know you want us to play in yr city. we want to play in yr city. we want to play everywhere. we only turn down shows if they're financially unfeasible, and each one of those WHY NO MY TOWN comments is a moment of time you could have spent writing to yr local promotors who decide such things.

in this vein, i'd like to give a sad wave over the seas to toronto. The lovely folk at NXNE invited us to play this year, and, despite wanting it more than anything ever, we're not in a position to front the costs right now. Next year, we'll hopefully have american distro and less people we owe cashes too, but for now WE ARE SOBBING INSIDE. so thanks to NXNE for being so understanding and good luck with yr stoopid festival. pssssssssh.

going to blates spam all these dates to facebook tomorrow, apologies in advance.

cones as boathangers

guys its fucking happened again. gig-raped. see this? guess who never agreed to the show? we were all like; "topshop? urrr we'll get back to you on that one..."

instead of throwing our toys out the pram again, thought it might as well be interactive band time. SO, you beautiful wise people to which we entrust so much, tell us right here, should we play the show? here are some points to aid you:

pros

1) the custard factory is literally the next block from our studio. we could walk our entire backline there in about 15 minutes.

2) frankie and his heartstrings are super lovely people and always fun to hang out with.

3) the tickets are the same price as a text message

4) it might be outside over the pool. do they still do that? that'd be a pretty sweet evening.

5) huw stephens made the mix cd they're playing inbetween bands.

5) the posters are already up!

cons

1) we're not being paid for it

2) its right in the middle of when juniors out of IRL work, so we'd planned bulk work our album. we'd lose a few days to rehearse a set. or maybe a day if we just play new songs.

3) its topshop. its student party written in wacky font.

4) it might be inside the med bar. do they still do that? that'd be a pretty horrendous sounding evening.

5) we never said yes, godsdammit.

so tell us lovers, if you were us, WHAT DO WE DO? people of birmingham, for once, you count for double.. topshop have been pretty kind to us in the past, which should count for something even if it is brand cross pollination at its most crass. i doubt anyone at topshop knows or cares that we all think people that try and buy into a culture via massmarket branded clothing are fucking idiots.

kinda pissed off we're expected to do it for free but practically we can do it cheap, and it's pretty much free to get in which counts for a lot (especially if we can sort out merch for then)

so having donned our haircuts and made a decision as to THE RIGHT THING TO DO, please click here to go back to where you came from and commentthing yr answer underneath our statusthing. we'll make a pie chart of the results and eat the biggest slice..

thank you in advance and i hope yr all having a fun sunday. i've just discovered this:

and will be spending the rest of the night finishing the first series and pretending not to refresh facebook.

xlex

fsdhsghiodsgidhogv (kavs for lavs)

hi. thanks to everyone for being our online pr for th harriet video, tis awesome to see it spread but thats not why i'm here. ssssssssssssplurge::

there's this other common interview question, it came up today, what's yr musical guilty pleasure. and i always answer, i don't have any guilty pleasures. if i can get the same buzz from daisy dares you as from death cab, why is that something to be ashamed about? it's like slagging off gingers, its kinda pointless and playground, it's not like i'm forcing you to like the same noises as me. anyway, my theory is this:

if certain sequences of sounds stick in yr head, thats because some deep part of yr brain likes it. sometimes its the chorus from company calls and sometimes its the chorus from rosie, and yr reaction towards it is based purely on enforced tastes: one is an awesome treasured band, and one is a failed industry pop darling, but none of them words or opinions have anything to do with whatever it is that makes the song stick

ergo, no guilty pleasures. if you like something, then you like it. deal with it, let it be someone elses problem. this argument allows me to deflect any and all of kellys complaints when i play the ke$ha album, and also applies to any references to how much she used to like silverchair.

but then this thing happened to make me question my beliefs. it probably happened to everyone in the UK who thought this way, at about the same time:

if you havnt heard that before, we'll you'll probably remember from now on. I think the people that wrote this jingle are evil geniuseses. I don't drive, i barely watch tv, my brain has no reason to embed this aside from its pure horrible catchyness. i hate it. not only cos it's like graffiti carved MY OWN FUCKING MIND, but because of the awesome potential wasted. imagine, you have the power, some kind of massive perverse anti-musical skill, to create a jingle/melody/song/whatever this is that will stick in everyone's brain from now until they die, and the four word message you choose is about secondhand fucking cars. It's the sonic equivilant of sending a first contact probe to outerspace with, well, WE BUY ANY CAR sprayed on the side.

I'm clearly a less financially successful lyricist than webuyanycar ltd (srs) and i wish i had that magic to wield for more righteous reasons. there's a new advert running on telly now, a different phrase and different jingle, but possibly even more evil and sticky than the last. i can feel it crawling around inside my head looking for somewhere prominent to hang out forever. i totally don't want to search for it in case any more of the words (there are more words this time) rape my ears. anyway i read popjustice for the first time this year, i usually agree with pretty much everything they write and this was one of their worst songs of 2010

right, apart from the completely stupid middle8 which sounds like someone just accidently leant against pitchwheel and didn't tell her, i really like this song. i would genuinely rather hear this over deerhoof and i think i should be totally worried about that.

blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh